A FIRST and A LAST
So yesterday was the FIRST day that i felt a LOST like this.
My Mama left the earth and went to Heaven. She followed the light to the pathway were we will meet again. Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out into a million pieces??? Well thats just a little way to explaine how i felt yesterday. I wanted to smoke a ciggarette and i dont even smoke. Plus i know mama would have had it out with me. I know that this is the way that it had to be. With all the illness that she was dealing with as far as the high bloode pressure, diabetes and her heart condition.... This is just the way that it all just cought up with her. I can stop thinking about her. I see her here with me in EVERYTHING that i do. Last night when i walked in my doors i realized something............ "almost EVERYTHING in our home is either made by Mamas hands with LOVE or gotten for me and my family from her". How do you cope with knowing that you wont be able to get a hug on a rough day when you need it?????
So many things i battle in my mind. I have been trying to fine peace in this, and its hard. I keep telling myself that i will wake up and she will be righ here besides me.But guess what i already know she is here with me. I can see her every where i go. There is one memory or another that just pops up.
Well thats just what happends when you live with a person off and on for all these years and do everything with.
My Mama left the earth and went to Heaven. She followed the light to the pathway were we will meet again. Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out into a million pieces??? Well thats just a little way to explaine how i felt yesterday. I wanted to smoke a ciggarette and i dont even smoke. Plus i know mama would have had it out with me. I know that this is the way that it had to be. With all the illness that she was dealing with as far as the high bloode pressure, diabetes and her heart condition.... This is just the way that it all just cought up with her. I can stop thinking about her. I see her here with me in EVERYTHING that i do. Last night when i walked in my doors i realized something............ "almost EVERYTHING in our home is either made by Mamas hands with LOVE or gotten for me and my family from her". How do you cope with knowing that you wont be able to get a hug on a rough day when you need it?????
So many things i battle in my mind. I have been trying to fine peace in this, and its hard. I keep telling myself that i will wake up and she will be righ here besides me.But guess what i already know she is here with me. I can see her every where i go. There is one memory or another that just pops up.
Well thats just what happends when you live with a person off and on for all these years and do everything with.
In closing i know she is in a better place, in her perfect body feeling no pain.
I know its the LAST time i will be able to hug or kiss her physically.
But she will always be in my heart and constantlly hugging me in spirit.
Rest in Peace Mama. I LOVE YOU!
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