Notebo-Tabura Ohana

"MY HUSBAND" I'd say one of the reasons that I am smiling is the fact that i have the best backbone i could ever ask for. And thats my HUSBAND. I think some times i dont appreciate him enough. But is the worlds most wonderful man in my eyes. He alsways brings a smile to my face and keeps my content. Yes we bonk heads. Rarely but still he can turn my frown upside down without even trying. I love you Treston Jay! "LITTLE MISS TRESILLAMARIE" What a ham. Do i need to say more. With all her little rascal moves she is always on the go. A firecracker that i must watchout for. She is a mini-me and i think thats why we are always on the roll erking each other. Motherly and daughter love. She is a sweetheart! Mommy loves you sella-wells! "LEACHY TAQORRI-LEE" She is getting bigger and cutter by the day. Her smile just brightens the room! Her laugh will make any grump smile. She is a complete mommy's girl. And a leach. Growing and learning so quickly. She wi...

Saturday we had Mams service at St. Rita's Church in Haiku. It was small and nice. I got to meet some of Mamas friends that she cooked with for Habitat for Humanity. And went to church with. It was nice to see how many friends she had. I have spent more time with Dads side of the family the past few weeks than in about 3 years put together. Its nice seeing my cousins and aunts. Its been to long sice we spent time together. Sux that something like this is the only time we get to spend together. Just makes you hug the ones close to you a little harder and kiss them alot more. With a lost of a family member you really start to appreciate the ones you have around you. Its like you havent seen them in years even if they are in your daily life. All in all the service was nice. And the lunchin after was great. Got to hear stories of mama and her friends. And as we were walking to the ha ll my Uncle said he could her Mama saying "COME EAT". Lol she was always one of the first to ...

Yesterday was one of the better days since grandmas passing. I really felt like i needed to be out for a little bit so i arranged for us to go walking. Me, Shy, Mom and Steph went walking. A longer route than expected but a good walk. Man did it feel good to just go walking and leave all your troubles behind you. It was so nice to walk and watch the sunset on Haleakala and the West Maui mountains. We did come accross a couple of loud dogs. Oh and one that even came at us. Luckily he was smaller type. LOL. What we tought would have been a 30 min walk actually turned out to be a more like 45 minutes. Headed for home and got started with our prayer. We have been doing the 9 Day Novina Prayers for Mama and it has been helping me so much. Yesterday was the 6th day. Last night i didnt cry. I felt as if Mama was there watching us pray for her. And i didnt cry like i have been. I am accepting in my heart that Mama is with Jesus and is in a far better place than we all are. She is free and heal...

I am LEARNING to UNDERSTAND that I am not super woman and cant always change the outcome or "fix" it. If thats what you would call it. I have been working on finding peace with my Mamas passing. And slowly i am starting to feel ok. Very slowly but better slow than never. Mama wouldnt want me to constantly be upset. I still think of her like crazy. And miss her like im missing a limb or something... I really dont know how to put it.

So yesterday was the FIRST day that i felt a LOST like this. My Mama left the earth and went to Heaven. She followed the light to the pathway were we will meet again. Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out into a million pieces??? Well thats just a little way to explaine how i felt yesterday. I wanted to smoke a ciggarette and i dont even smoke. Plus i know mama would have had it out with me. I know that this is the way that it had to be. With all the illness that she was dealing with as far as the high bloode pressure, diabetes and her heart condition.... This is just the way that it all just cought up with her. I can stop thinking about her. I see her here with me in EVERYTHING that i do. Last night when i walked in my doors i realized something............ "almost EVERYTHING in our home is either made by Mamas hands with LOVE or gotten for me and my family from her". How do you cope with knowing that you wont be able to get a hug on a rough day when y...